Does The Garden Even Float?

As promised, here are some pictures from the used papers I took from the Children Art Space at Museum MACAN. Sorry it's a little crumpled and there are a lot of thin lines (trust me I didn't fold them, I rolled them and seems like they got crushed in my bag). If you asked me how did I choose these samples, honestly, I tried to find as many variations as I could, as diverse and as random as possible, so then we can see different types of people responding to Entang Wiharso's work, presumably by various range of age.

Those pictures above are from the metallic plates we're supposed to rub off colored pencils on the paper. You can see those were done differently, some were double-layered (one color on top of another color), some barely finished the drawing, and most of them were sort of divided into 'segments' by the color, reminded me of Neapolitan ice cream. But, can you tell the actual picture from these drawings? Personally speaking, I couldn't recognize what's on most of those paper, let alone Entang Wiharso's work. I can see there's monkey (fifth picture from the top, left one) and an object resembles like lotus flower (fourth picture from the top, right one). My personal judgement is that these plates are too intricate, too detailed that you need extra effort to 'transfer' the image onto your paper.

...and it's tiring, and you have to be super patient because there's no instant rewards in this. I couldn't see the result of my drawing, couldn't tell what's on the paper, my arm felt sore, and I got bored after a few minutes. Maybe it's just me, some people might've experienced it differently.

Moving on, these pictures below are supposed to be the headband. We can take one headband, choose the decorations (the cut-out objects), and then glue them to the headband. This is better than the other one, at least you can see that the paper is turning into something once you add the color. It's also a nice gimmick if they have a school group visiting the museum. Like, it's a souvenir already (if the kids keep it safely).

Reminds me of the coin press machines in museums in the States. All you need is 3-5 quarters (depends on the machine) and one shiny penny, then you put all those coins into the slots, crank it, and viola! Your elongated coin is ready! My friend who lives in LA told me that now we don't need to crank anymore, just press the button and our souvenir tokens are ready. But then that's kinda missing the essence, you know. I remember from ages ago, the one near the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia was so hard to crank I thought I would break my arm if I keep going. 

Sometimes I thought to myself, "why do we need to facilitate the public, 'the commoners', in a museum or a gallery? Is that the heart of public programming?" and then I remembered, in Bandung, near Gedung Merdeka, there are people wearing costumes like Iron Man, or Hello Kitty, or Masha from Masha and the Bear. A lot of people take pictures with them, they're familiar with the icon they're taking picture with, while on the other hand people who visited Museum MACAN actually took one step closer to learn about the art, culture, or whatever it is and maybe... they're still not familiar with it. Which maybe also the reason why some visitors behaved improperly in galleries or museums and then were 'bullied' online by others who indirectly/implicitly/unconsciously claimed that they knew better (I might have done it as well, I really regret it and I'm so sorry).

Yes, they can simply ask the gallery assistants.. but still.. that doesn't mean we can screen-capture their pictures from their social medias and share it among our friends.

Another thing, is that when we 'dedicate' a space for the public, it's better to communicate the artworks too, not just hoping they would look it up online and then have their own a-ha moment. I think it's our responsibility to do that, to explain and to make sure they know what they're experiencing (not only seeing).

Anyway, I didn't mean to preach here. Lastly, I just want to tell you one thing I noticed from my job as a tour leader for school field trip. One time, I went to Jogjakarta with a group of students from a public school, most of them were 7th-9th graders and their teachers came along too. One of our destinations was De Mata Museum (yes, really), their stuff were like optical illusion installations, 3D paintings, statues and replicas of notable figures, and stuff like that. The group were so, so excited to take pictures with the installations. They could touch the printed display so it would look more promising that they're a part of the 'scene'.They pretend to be in the scene. Maybe, their idea of an 'art museum' is something like this, so no wonder if we found people 'responding' to the installation or the room layout. It's interesting, really. You should check it out if there's a '3D museum' in your city. Maybe it can give you some insights on facilitating the public.


Let The Garden Floats

At first I couldn't find where the "Children's Art Space" is.

On Museum MACAN second public day in the early November, my quick visit didn't take me to the installation of Entang Wiharso's work, Floating Garden. Maybe because I got there around 5.30, only had 1.5 hours to go around the museum (thank goodness it's not too too big) and it was just enough time to read the displayed archives and just browsed through the artworks.

The Children's Art Space is a section in Museum MACAN that was said to be "dedicated to children". I thought, it's a good move to actually provide a space for children. I don't think Galeri Nasional or Museum Bank Indonesia has such specialized area (correct me if I'm wrong). I saw some friends' Instagram during the VIP opening of Museum MACAN, the Children's Art Space looked spacious, well-equipped, and seemed like a good start because they also worked with Entang Wiharso, a well-known Indonesian artist, to be featured in the area. At least, they don't only throw a bunch of coloring pencils in a Sterilite container box and coloring pages and call it as a dedicated space for children.

Couple weeks ago I had a chance to visit the museum again with a group from campus. We had this field trip to Museum MACAN and Jakarta Biennale which was kinda cute, reminded me of the old days hahaha.

Anyway. We had an exhibition tour-ish from the museum and we had some time to explore the museum on our own. Some went to the famous Yayoi Kusama's work, some went to take more pictures of themselves and of the works, and some went to get coffee on the other side of the entrance. From my last visit, I figured that the Children's Art Space is located somewhere near the elevator.... which I finally found it. It's not quite like what I imagined it would be, the first thing thing that came to my mind was those hacks on Pinterest to make those rooms under the stairs more useful because the art space is located right under the escalator. 

There were some round-shaped acrylics hanging on the left side when I went in and there were three round tables with six metal plates attached to it. In the middle of each table was a square box where all the coloring pencils are (bye-bye Sterilite box). Some stools were located around the table and a box of tissue was also placed on top of the table. I decided to take some paper after the exhibition guide told me that it's okay for grown-ups to try these things. After a few minutes passed, I realized that I might not have the patience to finish it, let alone make it a perfect picture that you can tell which one is which.

Then I tried the paper headband thing that was full of outlines and you can fill in the color using the coloring pencils. This one is more.... rewarding. Like I could see I was making something, you know. Not like scribbles on paper that doesn't tell you what shape that is. It also comes with some cut-outs that you can glue to the headband. Somehow it made me feel more focused than the scribbling one.

Those are the round-shaped acrylic installation, part of Wiharso's Floating Garden.

The container box on the stools were the place they kept the empty sheets. The one on the floor were the used ones.

The metallic plate.

I did such a terrible job at this.

I wondered, what's on those stacks of used paper? What would they use it for? Would they use it for a special exhibition after, let's say, six month of the museum's opening? So I asked the exhibition guide and she said that she didn't know anything about the paper and she barely explained it to the public/audience who Entang Wiharso was, what the work/installation was about, and it seemed kind of... sad that in the end, there was no dialogue made between the artwork and the audience even though there's a special room made for that.

But you can always Google Entang Wiharso and Floating Market, it's no biggie...

Yeah right like I could always Google Newton's laws of motion but then I still went to school to see someone who made me understand about it. (But yeah, I had to pass exams to complete the whole 'learning' process)

She let me keeping some of the used papers too (yay!) will post it on the next entry.

After deciding which used papers I will take back to Bandung, I realized that the room was filled with adults and grown ups! Wow! Some of them were still on their gadgets but some of them actually worked on the scribble thing. I mean, isn't it interesting to see that a room that was specially dedicated for children had more adults than the children itself? Maybe they need to create another room for adults who grow tired of their gadgets that won't stop ping-ing. It might be a good idea for the education department, yknow. 

Honestly I don't know how a designated children's art space should be. I thought it's supposed to be colorful and have guides + activities for children... but apparently the 'museum guide for children' was only available at the front desk. The activities were limited to coloring paper headband to making scribbles of Wiharso's works, and there was no in-room information about the work which was a little confusing for me. If I were to take my niece to this room, I wouldn't be able to explain her about anything in the room.

Sign on the stanchion

Here's how it looked like from the elevator... There was no visible sign (but the A4-sized sign on the stanchion) and it's really easy to miss if you take the escalator (visitors coming from below, not the escalator next to it). Maybe if you're using the elevator, it'll be harder to miss and you can just walk to see the display on the stanchion.

There was also a group of students at the same time we visited Museum MACAN. I don't know if it's possible to fit in that many kids into the Children's Art Space... Also, the fact that they sat on the floor while having Hokben as lunch was kind of... strange for me. I asked a friend about it and she said that it's now common for students to not using table and chair even if it's in a classroom. Errr...... okay, so does it mean you can just sit on the floor in the unoccupied space in the museum and have lunch there? I don't know, it's strange to me that how many times I took school groups on field trip for work, never ever crossed my mind (or my Dad's mind) to have lunch like this..... Maybe the museum can have a cafeteria for school groups instead that is also featured another artist's work. Andddd, if you're sitting on the coffee shop area, it doubles the strange feeling. Like, you're sitting on a chair and you see these kids sitting on the floor... at least it made me wanna give up my seat and give it to them, you know what I mean?

On the upcoming one, I'll upload some pictures of the used papers from the Children's Art Space and some paper headbands and other things I found interesting from the visit.

Oh! You might wanna look at The Met's guide for visiting the museum. It's available on Google (haha!) and my professor told me that Manifesta 11 had a good public program (in terms of the way they create the program based on the resources)--which I totally agreed.


Menakar Pentingnya Regenerasi

Dua-tiga tahun lalu saya akan bilang regenerasi adalah hal terpenting dalam kepengurusan ruang seni alternatif non-profit dan berbasis kesukarelaan. Mungkin karena sempat mengecap bekerja di Yayasan Bina Antarbudaya selama sekian tahun, dan betapa YBA Chapter Bandung mengandalkan sukarelawan muda yang kebanyakan adalah kandidat pelajar pertukaran atau fresh returnee yang baru pulang ke Indonesia atau yang baru diterima di universitas di Kota Bandung sebagai ujung tombak kegiatan-kegiatan chapter karena kebanyakan sukarelawan yang lebih senior akan sibuk bekerja, pindah ke luar kota setelah mereka menyelesaikan studinya, atau menikah. Memang cukup masuk akal dan pembagian tugas kepemimpinan terbagi menjadi dua--"ketua chapter" dan "ketua harian"--tampak mendukung produktivitas kerja tim.

Ketika kegiatan saya masih terpusat di acara kampus, entah kenapa kepala saya selalu menganggap bahwa 'usia' ruang seni alternatif di Bandung tidak akan terlalu panjang--paling banter, 5-7 tahun. Tanpa tahu banyak mengenai tata kelola di dalamnya, saya asumsikan permasalahan utama terletak di pendanaan, baru kemudian di tenaga kerjanya. Saya pernah merasa bangga menyebutkan "this art space is volunteer-based " setiap kali ruang seni tempat saya bekerja dikunjungi oleh tamu-tamu yang baru pertama kali mampir. Pernyataan tersebut semacam menjawab rasa ingin tahu mereka tentang bagaimana kami mendanai program-program kami. Semacam ada pemahaman “oh, praktik mereka berbasis volunteer, mereka tidak perlu menggaji, yang tersisa hanyalah urusan bagaimana roda kepengurusan terus berputar dan bergerak”. Pada saat itu, saya pikir memang inilah cara terbaik dan ruang seni alternatif seharusnya mengadopsi sistem regenerasi seperti ini agar terus bertahan, paling tidak untuk tetap eksis dan menjalani program.

Tetapi setelah tiga kali merekrut anak-anak baru untuk tiga angkatan pengurus berbeda, dipikir-pikir, untuk apa semua ini? Apakah ruang seni alternatif membutuhkan regenerasi? Kenapa? Bagaimana dengan pengurus lama, akan pergi kemanakah mereka? Bila mereka tetap mendiami ruang seni tersebut, posisi seperti apakah yang akan mereka isi?

Seorang kawan yang berdomisili di Inggris bercerita kalau ada sebuah ruang seni bernama Transmission di Glasgow yang kepengurusannya berganti setelah masa bakti pengurus mencapai dua tahun (tidak selalu tepat dua tahun, kadang lebih, kadang kurang). Ada enam orang di satu masa kepengurusan yang sama, yang kabarnya direkrut berdasarkan nominasi dan rekomendasi dari lingkaran-lingkaran terdekat Transmission itu sendiri. Keenamnya tidak masuk dan tidak keluar secara bersamaan, sehingga pengurus-pengurus baru tidak terlalu memulai dari nol saat mereka bergabung. Sejak dibuka lebih dari 30 tahun lalu, Transmission terus menerapkan sistem yang sama. Entah apa alasannya hingga mereka mempertahankan 'adat' selama itu. Sayangnya saya pun belum berkesempatan berbincang secara khusus dengan pengurus Transmission, baik yang masih menjabat maupun yang sudah alumni.

Regenerasi bisa jadi diperlukan untuk mengisi ruang-ruang kosong yang ditinggalkan pengurus lama ketika proyeksi jenjang karir yang lebih tinggi sudah tercapai. Mungkin setelah menikah, pengurus-pengurus lama akan lebih fokus mencari peruntungan untuk mengarungi bahtera rumah tangga dalam keadaan yang berkecukupan. Mungkin idealnya memang begitu, mungkin bisa diterapkan dalam kepengurusan seperti YBA Chapter Bandung atau kepengurusan ala himpunan mahasiswa. Namun untuk ruang seni (alternatif) (dan non-profit), dimana posisi regenerasi?

Kesadaran sebuah ruang seni mengenai kebutuhan regenerasi jelas membantu anak-anak muda yang ingin mendapatkan pengalaman kerja dan menjalin kekerabatan/pertemanan dengan anggota-anggota lain di dalam ruang seni. Layaknya lari estafet, regenerasi pun mampu meneruskan visi yang diusung oleh ruang seni tersebut dengan semangat baru sehingga usia ruang seni bisa lebih panjang dan praktiknya lebih adaptif dengan perkembangan zaman berkat generasi-generasi muda yang kemungkinan besar lebih akrab dengan inovasi baru di masa itu.

Sebelum akhirnya menapaki proses regenerasi, ada baiknya bila sebuah ruang seni memahami betul apa yang mereka hadapi dan apa 'istilah' yang tepat. Regenerasi, seperti halnya peremajaan, bukan sekedar merekrut anak-anak muda untuk membantu operasional sebuah ruang seni. Terlebih bila ada posisi-posisi yang sebelumnya pernah diisi oleh pengurus lain, bagaimana pembagian masa baktinya? Apakah akan ada aturan baku yang mengatur seberapa lama seseorang berhak menjabat dan apa saja lingkup pekerjaannya (plus, hak dan kewajiban, dll., dll)? Apakah ruang seni bertanggungjawab untuk membentuk tangga karir pengurus generasi selanjutnya? Misalnya, generasi rekrutmen pertama memanggul misi membentuk 'sistem'; generasi rekrutmen kedua bertugas membuka akses ke luar; generasi rekrutmen ketiga bertugas 'mematenkan' pijakan tangga karir sehingga generasi rekrutmen keempat bisa membayangkan prospek yang jelas sebelum memutuskan tergabung dalam proses regenerasi ini.

Saya setuju dengan sistem yang diterapkan oleh Transmission, bahwa setelah satu periode waktu tertentu, pengurus lama harus berpindah. Semakin banyak pengurus lama yang aktif berkegiatan di arena lainnya, seharusnya semakin besar kemungkinan untuk menjalin kerja sama yang mungkin baru bisa terwujud setelah 5-10 tahun mendatang. Mungkin lebih mirip bagaimana tumbuhan paku mengembangbiakan dirinya, sporangium melepaskan spora-spora yang berkembang menjadi gametofit dan membentuk individu-individu baru.

Pun masih ada beberapa pertanyaan yang saya sendiri belum menemukan jawabannya, misalnya: [1] Apa yang harus tetap dijaga dari ruang seni yang meregenerasi pengurusnya? Apakah ideal estetiknya atau hal lain? Bagaimana cara menjaganya? [2] Seperti apakah bentuk ruang seni ini? Entah kenapa, saya agak membayangkan 'Karang Taruna' namun diimplementasikan pada ruang seni. Atau justru itu adalah dua model yang berbeda? [3] Ketika generasi awal kembali terlibat dalam praktik ruangnya, sejauh apa mereka bisa bertindak? Apakah seperti "pemilik" atau hanya sebagai "kakak" yang harusnya memberi contoh bagi adik-adiknya? [4] Setelah pertanyaan ketiga, saya malah merasa kalau Pasar Seni ITB atau Festival Djamoe UPI-lah yang bisa jadi contoh paling mendekati dalam pengaplikasian sistem regenerasi. Lalu, bila demikian, sejauh apa batas elastisitas definisi 'ruang' yang masih bisa diterapkan sistem regenerasi? [5] Kondisi seperti apa yang mungkin menggugurkan usaha regenerasi?

Mungkin ini semua tidak perlu dipusingkan karena regenerasi hanyalah metode bertahan hidup sebuah ruang seni dan salah satu hal yang mengaburkannya adalah rasa 'kepemilikan' tunggal atau majemuk dari segelintir orang yang pertama memulai ruang seni tersebut.



Tahun lalu, saat Art Stage Jakarta pertama kali digelar di bulan Agustus, salah satu segmen yang saya sukai adalah instalasi Collector's Show yang berada di satu level yang sama dengan Restoran Anigre di Sheraton Grand Jakarta Gandaria City Hotel. Beberapa kolektor menghadirkan karya dari seniman-seniman Indonesia, misalnya Melati Suryodarmo, Aditya Novali, dan Wimo Ambala Bayang, sedangkan satu kolektor lain menghadirkan karya-karya yang cenderung berbeda, yakni "Living Mirror" oleh Laura Cinti & Howard Boland, serta "data.tron" oleh Ryoji Ikeda. Tak elak, karya Ryoji Ikeda menarik perhatian pengunjung karena bunyi yang terpadukan dalam karya tersebut terdengar dari lobi hotel. Karya Laura Cinti & Howard Boland yang "meminjam" citraan pengunjung yang berdiri di depan karyanya dan ditiru oleh bakteri-bakteri dalam susunan tabung-tabung kaca juga mengusik rasa ingin tahu pengunjung yang, mungkin, tidak selalu melihat karya-karya seperti itu sebelumnya.


Seni, Ilmu, dan Teknologi yang merupakan kuliah pilihan kode empat di program studi seni rupa di kampus saya. Materi pembelajarannya terasa menarik, serta dosen pengampu mata kuliah ini pun berasal dari studio yang mengintegrasikan teknologi dan media baru, mengaplikasikannya dalam karya seni untuk menawarkan pengecapan dan pencerapan yang berbeda dengan karya-karya bermedium konvensional lainnya. Suatu hari, kami diberi tugas untuk menonton film dokumenter tentang bagaimana Leonardo da Vinci menemukan mekanisme tertentu untuk diterapkan dalam produk/karya-nya. Tak lupa, seusai film, kami pun ditugaskan untuk menulis resume mengenai praktik Leonardo da Vinci dan penerapan teknologi dalam karya-karyanya.

Selain menonton film dan pemaparan materi, kelas ini pun mengundang seorang seniman sound art yang berbasis di Bandung untuk menceritakan pengalaman, metode berkarya, serta pilihan artistiknya dalam penggunaan teknologi. Di akhir semester, kami harus menyelesaikan ujian tertulis serta mengumpulkan dua tugas tambahan: membuat karya fiksi ilmiah dalam bentuk apapun, dan membuat ulasan tentang karya Pipilotti Rist dan Ryoji Ikeda. Untuk sebuah kelas campuran--dengan ragam mahasiswa dari program studi lain, seperti astronomi, fisika, arsitektur, dan program studi teknik lainnya--mungkin tidak akan ada yang ambil pusing tentang proses mengalami sebuah karya. Selama karya seniman-seniman tersebut masih bisa diakses oleh mesin pencari Google, tugas ini tak akan jadi sulit untuk diselesaikan. Akan tetapi, bagi dua-tiga mahasiswa seni rupa yang mengambil kelas tersebut, tidakkah seharusnya dipertanyakan kembali bagaimana tugas menulis ulasan ini cenderung tidak tepat?

Dari hasil pencarian di Google, tampaknya sebagian besar karya Rist dan Ikeda mengokupasi ruang fisik melalui proyeksi-proyeksi gambar dan video, juga menghadirkan bunyi serta suara untuk mendukung karyanya. Beberapa saluran di YouTube juga memberi akses untuk mencicipi potongan karya-karya Rist dan Ikeda; tidak nyata dan terbatas resolusi layar komputer dan audio pelengkapnya. Entah apakah berlebihan untuk mengatakan bahwa tugas mengulas karya ini agaknya fiktif karena karya-karya tersebut tidak dialami secara langsung oleh pengamat (dalam hal ini, mahasiswa yang mengambil mata kuliah Seni, Ilmu, dan Teknologi), sehingga pengalaman yang hadir cenderung dibuat-buat dan direka-reka? Bukankah itu terasa tidak benar?

Saya sebenarnya tidak terlalu ingat apakah ada pameran yang sekiranya selaras dengan bahasan kelas saat tugas ini diberikan. Mungkin, apabila iya, ada baiknya bila karya yang dibahas dapat dialami langsung oleh para mahasiswa. Selain memberikan pengalaman nyata, juga mengenalkan ruang seni khususnya ke mahasiswa-mahasiswa non-seni rupa yang mungkin belum pernah berkunjung sebelumnya.

Pada akhirnya, seberapa kerasnya saya enggan menulis ulasan fiktif ini, tetap saja diselesaikan juga agar tidak mengulang mata kuliah yang sama di kemudian hari. Saya tulis seakan-akan saya sungguh pernah mengalami karya Pipilotti Rist. Entah valid atau tidak, tetap bagi saya rasanya tidak.


Sometimes, I get that kind of moment when there's nothing in my mind. Like, it just goes blank. Nothing really to think about, or to worry about, even if it's about Tourkassa. It's just empty, it's similar to that feeling I got when my Marine Science class had a field trip to somewhere in Chesapeake Bay and we stopped by at a park to get some lunch. As I laid on the grass, starred at the sky, just trying to feel breeze of the wind caressing my skin, listening to the birds chirping somewhere in that park, I wasn't keeping up with the time. It felt slow, but it was actually fast. I wasn't aware that minutes and hours had past.

I wouldn't call it peaceful. I wouldn't say it's a negative thing to do. It just nice (sometimes) to be idle, to be in a lull.


Berakal // Berkuasa - Kamis, 20 April 2017

Kamis, 20 April 2017 - 18.00
Ruang Gerilya -- Jl. Raden Patah no. 12 Bandung.

Sebuah talkshow untuk umum yang menghadirkan para ODS (Orang Dengan Skizofrenia) yang sebelumnya telah berpartisipasi dalam lokakarya public speaking bersama Theoresia Rumthe. Theoresia Rumthe adalah pemateri yang sering membuka kelas-kelas public speaking dan sempat aktif menjadi penyiar radio di Bandung.

Kegiatan ini diadakan bersama Kelompok Peduli Skizofrenia Indonesia (KPSI) Simpul Bandung dalam rangkaian Atma Wimala for Humanity Festival.


Side Dishes : Pameran karya-karya ODS, dengan diskusi paska pagelaran.


THE 1st ATMA WIMALA FOR HUMANITY FESTIVAL, by Komunitas Peduli Skizofrenia Indonesia (KPSI) Simpul Bandung

Sebagai gerakan kesehatan jiwa terbesar pertama di Bandung, Atma Wimala bertujuan mengajak masyarakat untuk melihat sisi lain dari Orang Dengan Skizofrenia (ODS) dan Orang Dengan Gangguan Jiwa (ODGJ). Langkah ini diharapkan dapat menghilangkan stigma di masyarakat mengenai isu kesehatan jiwa.


A = A'

I woke up to a racing heart and drenched in sweat. Another bad dream. I tried to move my right arms that had my cat fallen asleep on. It was 3.46 am. another graveyards. another shadows in my dreams.

This room was so empty all I could hear is just my cats' snores. My mind wandered, what once lived, now has died. I moved out again, from one place to another. I packed my stuff, took pictures of my last home, and put my belongings in the car. I left shortly after. I brought my succulents too, the ones I started having as a therapy to my depression which I had last year, just a few months ago. I thought I needed a new hobby, so gardening it was.

It’s been a month since I started a new life at this new-but-old place. I lived here years ago, when I just graduated from high school. And then I've lived in.. probably three other places after that. One was in Jakarta and two were in Bandung. My last place was in the northern part of Bandung, which I have lived for 1.5 years. It's a really nice place to relax, to be lazy (haha), and just to stay in especially when it was raining. Cuddle weather. Also, it was a good place (I think) to adopt a cat. Which I did. I started with one cat and named him Timmy because I like the Fairly OddParents. He was super active. He liked to go to the woods and climbed the trees, also brought home frogs just to play with it. A month later I got him a baby brother, Aylo, and it only took them a week to get along. Me and Doni used to be a Papa & Mama Cat. He would put them to sleep in the afternoon and I would take care of their foods everyday (also online ordering their necessities).

Things were changed since I moved out. My cats are (still) getting used to the new place, seemed like they liked it but I knew they would prefer to live at our previous place. My succulents didn't do well here; slowly, one by one died. Started with my favorite one, I don't know what type of succulent it was but it had wide leaves and it's kind of curly on the tip of the leaf. I threw out a lot of stuff, thinking that I needed to live minimally. Bags, unused clothes, or things I kept only for sentimental reason, I threw it out. The rest that I'm still keeping, I put them in big containers, labeled them as whatever it has on the inside. My mom was wondering, why I did such thing? I told her, we cut out anything unnecessary. It would be a burden to us, no need to keep them, since we're no longer using them, not even looking at them.

Here's a picture of Timmy, he's 9 months old now.

Just now, I'm heading back from Jakarta to Bandung. I remembered that feeling I had when I took the same trip, the one before this. I was ecstatic, I've had moved to Jakarta, and stayed there only for a week when I really missed home in Bandung. Doni picked me up at the train station. I felt like I actually went home, he was the source of my happiness... He was everything to me. Though now I learnt a lot. I learnt that in a relationship, no matter how tough, how hard the situation is, it takes two to get through it. It's not only about 'me', it's also about 'him/her' too. I learnt it the hard way from my parents, from past relationships I had, that once 'I' got mad, I couldn't think clearly anymore. Wouldn't even bother to see the problem from 'my' partner's point of view. Which is dangerous, would leave 'my' partner in frustration, since he/she could feel exhausted too. 'I' need to be selfless, to stop thinking how to get whatever 'I' want without considering other's position.

He also taught me that acceptance has an important role in relationship. It's normal for a person to have flaws, to have bad habits... It made me think of viscosity, the density in liquids. I associated acceptance as three cups that have three types of liquid inside; one is denser than the other, filled in different amount on each cup, and we just got to make up out mind what we're going to get. Anything we get, we would have all three liquids.. only on different amounts.


Soon as I realized that, I've lost everything I had. The most humanely perfect relationship that might never come back again.